The Brother Shop

In preparing our family for the potential of adopting a school age child, we were talking to Hallie at dinner. We were asking her if she wanted an older brother, and where she though an older brother would sit at the table when we eat. She pointed to the set next to hers and energetically said Here! Later when we were asking the kids what type of pet they wanted to adopt from the pet shop: Rats, ginuie pig or chinchilla (they both want a chinchilla) she said “yeah and we can take Colton back to the brother shop too!” We laughed and impressed apon her that we were under no terms going to take any of our kids “back” we love Colton and Jacob and Hallie so so much that no one was going back, not any of our pets and certainly not our adopted child either.  SHe laughed too and we all learned a little more about each other.

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SHAME ON YOU

Honoring my baby

I was browsing our local newspaper online. WHile I found this artical: honoring her babies . All I can say is I am discussed and heart wrenched. My stillborn baby is buried with hers at St marges in west peoria. I chose not to go the the burial, and I continue to chose not to go the our little baby’s grave site. I feel that death is a sacred transition, it should be remembered in more private ways. After all we all experience death in very different and very private ways. The reason I have not gone to my baby’s earthly tomb? My baby is in heaven. And I do not want to see all those home made crappy handcrafted concrete ‘headstones’ parents have left there.  Those belong in your back yard or by your front door (like mine), Not littering the place and taking away from the simple beauty of my child’s resting place. There are those of us that want peace and serenity when we visit our lost children. Not ratty stones and busted up concrete.

A hole in yer heart

My mom had a heart cath today. They found a good sized hole in her heart. This explains her chest pain as she has been having very low oxygen to her heart muscle. We don’t know if she’ll have her chest cracked or if the Doc will take out a few ribs and do robotic surgery. Either way we all feel like we are in limbo. My mom and dad because this sorta puts things on hold and us too. I may have to cut my hours again or go on leave or resign my position all together. I don’t know where this will take us. I know that some close family and friends have offered their help and support already.  One even saying it will be ok WE”LL get through this. I was quite surprised and relieved that I had some one watching out for us and caing for us- support often comes from the most unexpected people.

On my mind

I’s Hard to complain about something when no one knows what your talking about.
My husband is graduating in 10 days finals, are in 7 days, today is his last day of regular classess… THANK GOD IT COULDN’T COME SOON ENOUGH!

i love my kids, may be some day soon we will add to our number, in a nontraditional way- which would be just like us- doing things in ways less ordinary- it’s cool like that

Mr C is putting together sentances and using more words, his latest “No, I on’t ike! ” ( I don’t like). I never thought the word no could be so great to hear!

I found fat on my legs… I’m eating less and looking into a fitness routine- which is more than i was doing on Saterday

My baby sleeps through the nite if he drinks only milk… who would have figured.

I have a unique opportunity to interact with my family, I’m So EXCITED!!!!

Nursing is the ideal job on paper, in practice not so much- it is dissapointing

there is no such thing as ‘buying children’, but there are finders fees… go figure

D- 150 vs. private school: the delema. Do I pay for the same thing twice or do i do what my gut tells me- tough call. Do I send him where he will get special custom therapy or do i through it all out the window- not so tough. Simplify our lives or complicate them.. More $ or less… Atmosphere or community… in the case we can’t have our cake and eat it too

i forgot garbage sacks… we have none, woops!

Since when did laying hands on and comforting people become “assault”?

Burnt dead kids or 15 grand out the window… literally!

Paying bills- yuck, getting payed- Yeah. Do you realize some one is paying the bills to get me my paycheck- funny how that works

one word- TIRED