A new addition

I have had a lot of things on my mind lately. Have been spending a lot of time with family and friends, get togethers, play dates, other things too. I have observed lots of things I like, I don’t like and I simply don’t care about. It would be way too obvious to speak of such things, so I will not.

I have never had a problem of feeling discontent (like I don’t have what I want). I feel such feelings are stupid because you can’t do anything about something you have no control over. I do my best every day to avoid anything that even appears to dabble in discontent. Still something in me is unsettled. I have not been able to place my finger on it, but something is askew. I will figure it out.

Even though it’s been discussed and pretty much decided on, I still wonder if we will ever have another baby. I love love love my IDU (TMI i know, my blog my rules) and i works wonderfully. I would like to have a fourth baby. I would really like to adopt a school age boy. We have selected our agency and have had out first meeting. Now next in our adoption journey is to attend PRIDE classes and a home study course. We will see, we have yet to decide. I used to see pregnant women and long to be pregnant again. I do not feel that way after Jacob’s birth. Rather I see them and kinda laugh- like haha glad its u not me. So Im not sure, I do miss feeling the babies move and flip, knowing I’m not alone in my skin, and just feeling special because I’m carrying the worlds hope. But that’s a dumb reason to want to have another baby. We are happy at three and if that’s all we can have or all we will ever have I’m completle content. We have wonderful, great, happy children and that’s all any parent could ever ask for!

I am ten pounds lighter that a month ago. We started at the gym. So far I’ve pumped it and hurt my legs, attached it and jacked up my knee, stepped it and hurt my ankle, ran and hurt my hip, and swam and threw out my shoulder. But I’m still ten pounds lighter, who knew it would be so painful, getting old is a bitch!

I worry about my two oldest. Their birth dad died and I know they will be grieving his loss in one way or another for much of their lives. So I watch them closely for any signs of distress or emotional change. Now with that said as a kid I have night terrors and sleep walking and talking was quit frequent too. I used to cry because I was so scared go to bed and sleep. My oldest daughter is a lot like me, so when I heard her playing to the Lord two nights ago I was worried. I stood by the monitor and listened: “Dear Lord, I love you and I love Jesus. I really want a chinchilla. Oh please oh please send a chinchilla to me for my pet, i love chinchillas and I really want one for a pet.” I went down to see her (I had just gotten home from work), took her temp- 100.2- gave her some Tylenol and layed down by her and talked to her. I said “a little birdy told me that you wanted a chinchilla.” She sat up and excitedly said “what kind of little birdy?!!” It was sweet and funny and how could I deny her! So the next morning I called a chinchilla breeder. We are expecting our new little addition in about 4 weeks! We have ordered a three foot high cage, hay and some other things too. I want to shop with the kids to get a few things so they know and understand a real chinchilla is actually comming! We have yet to buy feed/treats, bedding, h2o bottle, bath, a wheel, chews/toys. My goal is to have everything we need so we don;t have to rush out and get something. I called the Vet today and the gal who answered the phone was so excited for us and gave me some good information.

Our family is faced with some hard financial decisions. Using no dollar values, Imagen two years of a salary, roll that into a hefty student loan. Ok now try to stomach paying for it for the next twenty years! Yikes! I know. So our options are not very plentiful. We can not do anything and pay it for years. Or we could do something more proactive. Become a military family. Now before you get your panties in a bunch, it is only a thought at this point in time. We have little information, only that there is a sign on bonus and substantial loan repayment options, not to mention free housing/utilities, healthcare, child care/schools and good on base benefits. Lots of different thoughts on this, I know. He could go in, He and I could go in, I could go in…Decisions decisions. The kids, the animal, the house, all things we must consider. My first husband and others in his family, my brother and grandpa, others in my husbands family- all service men, it’s in our family, we are American it’s in our blood. Our families are supportive of us, no matter what our decisions. So it is our alone, we will see.

Baby Velociraptor is calling. Oh and he likes the saucer- thanks James and Amanda. Until next time.