ok so it really pisses me off when people to stupid things and there are a lot of stupid things going on in my family right now

Day 1: successful

Well I guess it going on day two, but day one. We went up to Chicago and brought home our new hedgehog. Cute little pet, funny faces and sweet demener… But it smells, really bad, just at night when it craps all over his wheel. But i still smells. We have had a window open and the fan going almost constant since it got here. We have named it Buddy. Corny I know, but we were calling it heggy Buddy anyway so it fits. He is scarred of all the noise, but we still pick him up. I made a pouch out if layers of fleece (thank you Jon) for it to sleep in and cut our tropical sticks in half to it can go upstairs in its cage. We fed it a cricket and meal worms for snacks, it’s an insectivore in the wild, and high end organic cat food that is super high in protein.  They only live about 4 years- 7 at most, so only 1456 more days of smelling hedgehog stink at least! Any way they are cute and fun- so far, I can;t wait for him to warm up to us… it will take a while though!

And yes, for all the bobbing heads out there we are still getting our Chinchilla. In 2 weeks we will travel to IN to a chinchilla farm and pick out out very own chinchilla pet. We have been asking  our kids what to name our new chinchilla and the only name that keeps coming up in Chee- ta, like that big cat- you know. So Chee- ta will come home, and I’ve researched that the don’t smell!! So we’ll see how the two misfit brothers get along! It should be fun.

I have my nephews three days this week, I hope I survive! We have our window installs later in August, but we have to tear down the wall and tear up the carpet. We need to get started or it won’t get done. Hallie starts school on her birthday, and we get to go shopping tomorrow with Grandma Lisa. Colton is starting school too and he seems excited.  Jacob has bad separation anxiety, I hate to leave him anytime because all he does of other people is cry and cry.  I just put him is his bed and let him work it out.  Anyway time to sleep on our newly turned bed. It’s good, very very nice.

A new addition

I have had a lot of things on my mind lately. Have been spending a lot of time with family and friends, get togethers, play dates, other things too. I have observed lots of things I like, I don’t like and I simply don’t care about. It would be way too obvious to speak of such things, so I will not.

I have never had a problem of feeling discontent (like I don’t have what I want). I feel such feelings are stupid because you can’t do anything about something you have no control over. I do my best every day to avoid anything that even appears to dabble in discontent. Still something in me is unsettled. I have not been able to place my finger on it, but something is askew. I will figure it out.

Even though it’s been discussed and pretty much decided on, I still wonder if we will ever have another baby. I love love love my IDU (TMI i know, my blog my rules) and i works wonderfully. I would like to have a fourth baby. I would really like to adopt a school age boy. We have selected our agency and have had out first meeting. Now next in our adoption journey is to attend PRIDE classes and a home study course. We will see, we have yet to decide. I used to see pregnant women and long to be pregnant again. I do not feel that way after Jacob’s birth. Rather I see them and kinda laugh- like haha glad its u not me. So Im not sure, I do miss feeling the babies move and flip, knowing I’m not alone in my skin, and just feeling special because I’m carrying the worlds hope. But that’s a dumb reason to want to have another baby. We are happy at three and if that’s all we can have or all we will ever have I’m completle content. We have wonderful, great, happy children and that’s all any parent could ever ask for!

I am ten pounds lighter that a month ago. We started at the gym. So far I’ve pumped it and hurt my legs, attached it and jacked up my knee, stepped it and hurt my ankle, ran and hurt my hip, and swam and threw out my shoulder. But I’m still ten pounds lighter, who knew it would be so painful, getting old is a bitch!

I worry about my two oldest. Their birth dad died and I know they will be grieving his loss in one way or another for much of their lives. So I watch them closely for any signs of distress or emotional change. Now with that said as a kid I have night terrors and sleep walking and talking was quit frequent too. I used to cry because I was so scared go to bed and sleep. My oldest daughter is a lot like me, so when I heard her playing to the Lord two nights ago I was worried. I stood by the monitor and listened: “Dear Lord, I love you and I love Jesus. I really want a chinchilla. Oh please oh please send a chinchilla to me for my pet, i love chinchillas and I really want one for a pet.” I went down to see her (I had just gotten home from work), took her temp- 100.2- gave her some Tylenol and layed down by her and talked to her. I said “a little birdy told me that you wanted a chinchilla.” She sat up and excitedly said “what kind of little birdy?!!” It was sweet and funny and how could I deny her! So the next morning I called a chinchilla breeder. We are expecting our new little addition in about 4 weeks! We have ordered a three foot high cage, hay and some other things too. I want to shop with the kids to get a few things so they know and understand a real chinchilla is actually comming! We have yet to buy feed/treats, bedding, h2o bottle, bath, a wheel, chews/toys. My goal is to have everything we need so we don;t have to rush out and get something. I called the Vet today and the gal who answered the phone was so excited for us and gave me some good information.

Our family is faced with some hard financial decisions. Using no dollar values, Imagen two years of a salary, roll that into a hefty student loan. Ok now try to stomach paying for it for the next twenty years! Yikes! I know. So our options are not very plentiful. We can not do anything and pay it for years. Or we could do something more proactive. Become a military family. Now before you get your panties in a bunch, it is only a thought at this point in time. We have little information, only that there is a sign on bonus and substantial loan repayment options, not to mention free housing/utilities, healthcare, child care/schools and good on base benefits. Lots of different thoughts on this, I know. He could go in, He and I could go in, I could go in…Decisions decisions. The kids, the animal, the house, all things we must consider. My first husband and others in his family, my brother and grandpa, others in my husbands family- all service men, it’s in our family, we are American it’s in our blood. Our families are supportive of us, no matter what our decisions. So it is our alone, we will see.

Baby Velociraptor is calling. Oh and he likes the saucer- thanks James and Amanda. Until next time.

Oh

Oh how, oh how to pay off student loans!

we might be paying for our last 2 years of living for the next 10- 20!

Woops!

holy COW

So In the spirit of barbeque’s and swim suit season, I bought a few new outfits and 2 new swim suits. I’ve worn them all a few times, so I know what I look like in them. So I put on my fav red top with comfy summer leghth kakis… my hip looked smaller… I couldn’t believe it! I put on my new pretty flower swim suit and my tummy looked less round!!! So this moving thing is working just fine: down 4 lbs.

I’m STILL breast feeding. It’s winding down and I’m ready to quit.

THe pool is cloudy, it kinda looks like cool blue water. The kids and I went for a dip today. The sky was clear, the kids were happy and it was fun. My first time this summer!

I love drinks. especially when I can customize the drink to my mood. I mostly like blue rasberry, but cherry and cirtis flavors and colors are fun too! Yeah Sonic Is Coming Right Down The Street!!!! 1/2 price happy hour is within our reach!!! And not oo may calories either, I can taste the drink too!

Our TV only has 50 or so channels, I’m going through withdraws. And since I would rather spend time with my family I would rather further decrease our services to 12 channels?… We’ll see.  We do watch mostly movies, so I suppose it wouldn’t matter, and we would have more free $ just flouting around to be sucked down into our gas tank. I heard the other day $5 a gallon by 4th of July… I have no feelings or thoughts, it’s just a shame that we haven’t been able to get beyond  ourselves to solve our problems. If people could just step back and think objectively about a situation… we would probably still be in the garden. It makes me sad.

My husband is golfing… He’s going out tonight with his buddies… And ‘taking’ us to a cook out (right) and he may be going on a bike ride too. I hope all this satisfied his need (at least for a little while) to be an independent family man.

All babies are sleeping and so must I.

the kids

Well We made it through our vacation. After many many hours in the van, 5 major city stops and 8 day trips we survived with three kids under 5!

The day we got back we went down town and became members of the Riverplex. We have gone everyday doing step, attack, pump and spinning. We have walked a mile after ever work out. I enjoy it, after being pregnant for a year it is wonderful to actually move my body and not have to worry about shearing off my placenta. The added bonus I’ve lost 1.6 lbs already and I wasn’t even trying!!!!! So I move and I get skinny, I’m cool with that!

Colton has exploded with his language skills. He is talking more and more everyday. We can understand almost everything, just the other day he asked if he could have more “juicy broccoli”!!!! First off what 2 year old likes broccoli AND describes it as juicy! He loves air planes and choo choo trains, so that’s the majority of his focus.

Jacob is doing wonderful. He is babbling and spitting.  He is sitting up all on his own and doing well with self feeding and eating solids, and he is down to 3 bottles a day. Next I think we will start using a sippy cup! He is growing so fast too, already in 9-12 month clothing!!! All I can say is I’m glad that he has a Big brother.
Hallie has finished her first week of VBS at Grace.  I went to that church when I was  kid so I figured why not send her too. She enjoyed it and the people there are mostly nice. We are looking at a really long summer home, she is already talking about turning 5 and starting kindergarten.  I’ve all but made the decision to put her into the public school system. We weren’t satisfied with her private education so we are going to try something different this year.

Well the initial intention for this entry was not at all what it turned out to be. Maybe I’ll touch on that later.

The Brother Shop

In preparing our family for the potential of adopting a school age child, we were talking to Hallie at dinner. We were asking her if she wanted an older brother, and where she though an older brother would sit at the table when we eat. She pointed to the set next to hers and energetically said Here! Later when we were asking the kids what type of pet they wanted to adopt from the pet shop: Rats, ginuie pig or chinchilla (they both want a chinchilla) she said “yeah and we can take Colton back to the brother shop too!” We laughed and impressed apon her that we were under no terms going to take any of our kids “back” we love Colton and Jacob and Hallie so so much that no one was going back, not any of our pets and certainly not our adopted child either.  SHe laughed too and we all learned a little more about each other.

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SHAME ON YOU

Honoring my baby

I was browsing our local newspaper online. WHile I found this artical: honoring her babies . All I can say is I am discussed and heart wrenched. My stillborn baby is buried with hers at St marges in west peoria. I chose not to go the the burial, and I continue to chose not to go the our little baby’s grave site. I feel that death is a sacred transition, it should be remembered in more private ways. After all we all experience death in very different and very private ways. The reason I have not gone to my baby’s earthly tomb? My baby is in heaven. And I do not want to see all those home made crappy handcrafted concrete ‘headstones’ parents have left there.  Those belong in your back yard or by your front door (like mine), Not littering the place and taking away from the simple beauty of my child’s resting place. There are those of us that want peace and serenity when we visit our lost children. Not ratty stones and busted up concrete.

A hole in yer heart

My mom had a heart cath today. They found a good sized hole in her heart. This explains her chest pain as she has been having very low oxygen to her heart muscle. We don’t know if she’ll have her chest cracked or if the Doc will take out a few ribs and do robotic surgery. Either way we all feel like we are in limbo. My mom and dad because this sorta puts things on hold and us too. I may have to cut my hours again or go on leave or resign my position all together. I don’t know where this will take us. I know that some close family and friends have offered their help and support already.  One even saying it will be ok WE”LL get through this. I was quite surprised and relieved that I had some one watching out for us and caing for us- support often comes from the most unexpected people.